Don’t be like me and regret not having interviewed some of my elderly family members before they passed. The elderly can be a wealth of information about not only themselves, but those who have gone before them. Most love to talk about their lives, others may need coaxing to discuss their past. Here are some ideas to help you with interviewing them.
Before the Interview
∙ Come prepared with open-ended questions, and be sure to personalize the questions to the individual you are interviewing.
∙ You’d do best to set-up an appointment and give them adequate time to think about the interview. If they tire easily, set up more than one appointment.
∙ Make sure the person you are interviewing is comfortable and that they feel secure in their surroundings. Preferably the interview would take place in their own home.
∙ Recording (both audio and visual) the conversation would be ideal, but if they are uncomfortable with a recording device, write the answers on paper.
∙ Be flexible. Don’t be surprised if they want to talk about something you weren’t asking. Sometimes it’s best to let them talk. You may learn more interesting details than if you had directed the conversation. More of a storytelling session than a Q&A sometimes brings out the best memories.
Questions to Ask:
1. What is your full name and did you ever go by a nickname? Were you named after someone in the family? If not, why did your parents select the name? What do you know about the family surname? Is there a naming tradition in your family, such as always giving the firstborn son the name of his maternal grandfather?
2. What is your birthdate and where were you born? Why were you born there? How long had your family lived there? Did other family members live in the area? Describe the scenery and weather.
3. What do you remember about your first house? Take me on a walk, room by room. What is the décor like? When was the house built? Does it still stand?
4. What is your earliest childhood memory?
5. What were your favorite toys and games? Did you play mostly outside or inside? Did you have a special place that you liked to go?
6. Describe our family members’ physical attributes. Is there a family photo? Who owns it? Are there any physical characteristics that run in our family?
7. Who of your family members did you get along with the best?
8. Did extended family members come to visit? Do you remember your grandparents? Great-grandparents? What can you tell me about them and where did they live? (Take a lot of time with these questions about past generations and make sure you’ve gleaned everything they can remember on the subject.) Are there photographs?
9. What are your favorite memories about your mother and father?
10. What employment did your father and/or mother have? (Ask specific questions toward those professions.) What income bracket would you have put your family in? If your mother worked in the home, what kind of things do you remember her doing? Did she have hobbies? Clubs?
11. Describe the personalities of your family members.
12. Where did you attend grade school? What was school like for you as a child?
13. Where did you attend high school? What were your best and worst subjects? Did you participate in school sports or school activities and clubs? Did you play an instrument?
14. What music did you listen to or sing? Favorite song?
15. What kind of food did you eat as a child? What was your favorite? Did you have dessert after supper? Describe a typical family dinner. Did you all eat together as a family? Who did the cooking and who did the dishes? Did you ever eat out? Have any recipes been passed down to you from family members?
16. What holidays did you celebrate and how? Did you have family traditions? What was your favorite holiday?
17. What fads were popular in your youth? Hairstyles? Clothes? Did you keep up with the fads and wear the styles?
18. Did you attend church as a child? What church might have family records such as baptism and marriage records?
19. Did your family go on vacations? What was your favorite?
20. What were you known for amongst your friends? Were you ever mentioned in a newspaper? Who was your best friend?
21. What world events had the most impact on you? Did any of them personally affect our family?
22. Did you attend college? Where? What did you study?
23. When and how did you meet your spouse? What did you do on dates?
24. What was it like when you proposed (or were proposed to)? Where and when did it happen? How did you feel?
25. Tell me about your marriage. Where did it take place? Are there photographs? Who was in your wedding? What food was served? What’s the strongest memory you have about the event?
26. How would you describe your spouse? What do (did) you admire most about them?
27. Were you married more than once? Would you like to talk about it?
28. What do you believe is the key to a successful marriage?
29. What were the early years of marriage like for you? Where did you and your spouse work? How did you choose your professions?
30. How did you find out you were going to be a parent for the first time? What are your children’s names and birthdates?
31. What was your proudest moment as a parent? What did your family enjoy doing together? Did you vacation? If so, what was your favorite place to visit, and if I go, what should I see there?
32. Do you care to talk about the challenging times of adulthood or parenthood?
33. What accomplishments are you the proudest of?
34. When and where did your parents and grandparents die? Did you attend their funerals? Of all the things you learned from them, which do you feel was the most valuable?
35. Are there any special heirlooms, photos, bibles, or other memorabilia that have been passed down in our family?
36. What stories have come down to you about your parents? Grandparents? More distant ancestors? Are there any stories about famous or infamous relatives in our family?
37. Did any of our family members serve in the military? Stories of them during wartime? Did any serve or live outside of the United States (or whatever country you live in)?
38. Where is our family originally from in the United States (or whatever country you live in)? Where is our family from in the world? How did we get to be located where we are today? Do you know of any family members having their DNA tested for genealogical purposes and their ethnicities?
39. What is your earliest memory of me? What is your favorite thing that we have done together?
40. What advice would you give your family? What is the one thing you most want people to remember about you?
You may be tempted to hand them this list of questions on paper and ask them to write their answers, but I have found that they will tell you much more if you ask. In many cases, their hands cannot hold a writing instrument for very long or they worry their writing is illegible. They will also give shorter answers if they must write them.
